The Key to Discipline is Loving Yourself
You must have heard, the secret to achieving your goals is discipline and not motivation. What if I told you, the key to achieving your goals is self-love instead?
In the bustling symphony of life, we often forget to love ourselves. We get swept away by the demands of work, the pressures of societal expectations, and the constant quest for validation. Amidst this chaos, we find ourselves struggling to muster the motivation needed to achieve our goals. I have often faced this challenge, starting with excitement only to falter while waiting for motivation to strike and carry me forward. Many of us believe that motivation is the key to success. However, relying solely on motivation can be a recipe for disaster. Motivation is just a burst of chemicals, primarily dopamine, that makes us feel excited about a task. True progress, however, hinges on discipline and consistency. Discipline is the catalyst that bridges the gap between us and our goals. But here’s the deal: to be disciplined and consistent, we must first cultivate a deep reservoir of self-love and be consistent with ourselves.
The discipline that we need to show up for ourselves and our goals every day is rooted in self-love. Self-love is about showing up for ourselves, day in and day out, even when the world seems to pull us in every direction but our own. It is about loving and respecting ourselves so much that we never fail to prioritize ourselves amongst the chaos of life. So, why the struggle? Why do we find it easier to extend kindness to others than to ourselves? Perhaps it’s ingrained in our societal fabric, where selflessness is praised above self-care. But in this journey of self-discovery, I am hoping to rewrite the narrative. We must recognize that self-love isn’t selfish; It helps you feel fulfilled, reach your true potential, and contribute more to your community. And through it, we are able to truly practice discipline, the gateway to achieving our goals.
❤️ How to Cultivate Self-Love
How would you feel if you had plans with someone and they continued to be a no-show, despite promising you the night before that they would be there?
In the dating world, this would be considered a huge “red flag,” and your friends would likely advise you to drop that person immediately. But what if I told you that you do this to yourself every time you skip the gym in the morning after promising yourself you’d go? Or when you set a goal to stick to your nutritional goals, but then stray away from it the next day? Or when you don’t follow through on personal commitments, big or small? The key to self-love is rooted in being able to trust yourself. And if you are anything like me, you have probably broken the trust you have in yourself on multiple occasions. But, I can tell you from experience, that you need to rebuild your trust and love for yourself in order to achieve your goals!
Cultivating self-love is a continuous process that involves several key practices, each uniquely defined by you. So, I encourage you to take some time to reflect on how you can best show up for yourself. Here are some steps that helped me get started with my journey:
- Take time to truly get to know yourself.
- Find the difference between who you are and who you want to become.
- Set healthy boundaries and don’t be afraid to say no for choosing yourself.
- Define activities that make you feel appreciated by yourself.
- Show up for yourself — no matter what it is, just show up, even when you might not be able to put in your 100%.
- Practice forgiveness towards yourself while being persistent.
I want to note that I am not telling you what to do, but rather how you can achieve that more effortlessly. I want you to decide to exercise because you want to, not because you were inspired by a random TikTok. I want you to adhere to your goals not because I am telling you to, but because you love yourself enough to want to achieve them for yourself. Routine and achievements will flow effortlessly when you engage in them out of love rather than obligation.
But let me be very clear — failure to show up for yourself does NOT mean that you don’t love yourself. Just like in any other relationship, you need to seek as well as practice forgiveness for yourself. You need to be patient with yourself and truly believe that you will be able to jump back up from a setback. It’s important to understand that loving yourself is not about perfection, but about persistence and kindness. All I am trying to help you do is establish a true, genuine connection with yourself.
❤️ The Power of Discipline Rooted in Self-Love
When we ground our discipline in self-love, we create a sustainable path toward our goals. This approach transforms discipline from a burdensome task into an act of self-care. It becomes easier to stay committed because each step we take is aligned with our well-being and self-respect.
Imagine waking up each day driven by a genuine desire to honor yourself. Your goals then become expressions of self-love rather than obligations. You no longer have to force yourself to show up for yourself or to live the life that you truly want to live. Not to mention, this shift in mindset significantly enhances your perseverance and resilience because you are constantly training your brain (that is just another muscle) to constantly show up for yourself. You are not just working towards an achievement; you are cultivating a life that reflects your true self.
All in all, the key to discipline is loving yourself. By fostering self-love, you create a strong foundation for consistent, disciplined action. This self-love not only propels you toward your goals but also enriches your life, enabling you to contribute positively to your community. This realization alone has helped me tremendously and I hope this helps you as well!
In conclusion, take time to get to know and fall in love with yourself :)
